Real Talk: The Death Of A Dream (Letting Go Of Perfect, Accepting The Good)

Final night time, I seemed again at the latest “ultimate ground plan” that I might discover that confirmed the ultimate model of the ground plan of the addition I’ve been dreaming about for the final ten years. My concepts for the addition went via many adjustments through the years, however I’m fairly positive this was the final full ground plan I shared.

For comparability, that is what our ground plan appears to be like like proper now. The little room to the again of our predominant toilet that’s strong black is the unique grasp toilet that’s fully inaccessible proper now, however my new plan is to make that accessible once more as an alternative of tearing it down.

At first of 2025, I made my checklist of dwelling objectives for that 12 months, simply as I’ve finished for the final a number of years. On that 2025 checklist, I mentioned the next:

Y’all, I really feel like that is the 12 months that I’ll lastly have the ability to say goodbye to the sunroom.

I’ve been desirous to tear this room down for years, however it’s the place my washer and dryer hookups have been all these years, and it’s additionally the place our scorching water heater is positioned. However as soon as our closet/laundry room combo is completed, I’ll now not want this room for a laundry room. And as soon as my workshop is organized, I’ll now not must retailer instruments and provides within the sunroom. That simply leaves the recent water heater. And I’d be completely ecstatic if I might…

Have a tankless water heater put in,

Have French doorways put in in the back of the music room (which we’d must do anyway, quickly, whereas the addition is being framed, so why not try this before later?), after which

TEAR DOWN THE SUNROOM!!!!!

Y’all, I need to make that occur so badly!!! I would like that room gone. I really feel just like the again of our home is actually beginning to form up now that the carport is completed and usable, the driveway is poured, and the workshop will quickly look very cute. However this sunroom is such an eyesore. Even when we will’t construct the addition this 12 months, I nonetheless need the sunroom gone. I’ve been anxious to tear that room down for therefore lengthy now, and it might be such a momentous event if I might make that occur this 12 months.

Properly, 2025 got here and went, and the sunroom was nonetheless there. When it got here time for me to make my 2026 checklist of dwelling objectives, you’ll discover that tearing down the sunroom was now not on my checklist. I had began to have a change of perspective, however right here’s what I mentioned about it:

I hate this room a lot, and imagine me, I’d love nothing greater than to tear it down ASAP. However the reality of the matter is that we want an area for our exercise gear. So till we’re prepared to start out constructing our addition, the room wants to remain, and we have to use it as a short lived dwelling fitness center.

Momentary. That’s the important thing phrase. That’s the phrase I used to be hanging onto with clenched fists. I nonetheless wasn’t keen to maintain the sunroom long run, however I might reside with it and make use of it quickly. I used to be planning absolutely the least expensive makeover humanly doable, just about sticking to eradicating the carpet and coating every thing in a recent coat of paint. However ultimately, I nonetheless wished it gone.

After which, simply over a month in the past, my mindset developed a bit extra, and I wrote a put up about how I wished to do some greater than the very fundamentals. I wished to go forward and substitute the drafty home windows and sliding door that gained’t fully near make the room extra comfy whereas we’re making short-term use of the room.

However these new home windows and door could be ordered in the precise sizes in order that they might be eliminated after we tear down the sunroom after which they might be put in within the new addition. So even only a month in the past, I used to be holding on to that dream of the addition as tightly as I might.

Fifteen days after writing about new home windows and a brand new door for the sunroom, I posted about opening up that hidden toilet to the sunroom in order that we might have a second full toilet in the home, which might be accessible on this wall of the sunroom the place the white rectangle is.

After which eight days after that, I wrote about constructing a deck that will be accessible via the outside door in our toilet. However that deck would sit proper in the best way of that future addition.

I feel you’ll be able to see the place that is going. And I’m positive a lot of you in all probability acquired there a lot sooner than I did. You’ve seen the development of my ideas and plans, and I’m positive you have been pondering, “There’ll by no means be an addition if she does this stuff.”

And but, it’s solely been inside the previous couple of days that I’ve realized what I’ve doing over these previous couple of months. I’ve been slowly however certainly letting go of the dream of an addition, and with one new plan after one other, I’ve been slowly making an attempt to persuade myself that letting go of that dream is okay. Will probably be high-quality. However I feel I needed to let go of it slowly, step by step, over the course of some months. After which abruptly.

And that’s the top that I’ve reached over the previous couple of days. I lastly reached the “sudden” finish of that sluggish, gradual, step-by-step letting go course of. I can see it now. There gained’t be a brand new addition. And whereas it really pains me to put in writing these phrases as a result of it’s been a dream for over ten years now, I’ve really had a few days to made peace with it.

In actual fact, I hit that backside of disappointment, and I’ve already began on my method again as much as pleasure. I’m excited concerning the problem of turning that sunroom and that terrible toilet into one thing usable, wonderful, and everlasting. However that implies that we’re really going to must put extra money into it than I had initially deliberate. It gained’t be something close to what an entire tear down and new, a lot bigger addition would value. Nevertheless it’s going to value a heck of much more than tearing out carpet and coating every thing with a brand new coat of paint.

The principle difficulty is that if that room goes to change into a everlasting a part of our dwelling, it needs to be degree with the remainder of the home, so the ground needs to be raised. And if the ground is raised, the roof needs to be raised additionally. And whereas I can’t envision myself doing both of these issues myself, that implies that I’ll have to search out different methods to maintain prices as little as doable. And which means a great deal of DIY. I feel I’m up for it. I’m able to face the problem. And I’m really fairly enthusiastic about it. I feel ultimately, it is going to be good. It gained’t be good, however I’m okay with that. I’d relatively reside with the nice than spend one other decade laying aside the nice whereas persevering with to dream concerning the good.